


Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't

by cybercandy



Series: Desert Songs (Killjoys Verse) [4]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Killjoys, Barebacking, Community: bandom_meme, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Headcanon, M/M, implied Frank/Gerard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-12
Updated: 2012-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 13:06:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybercandy/pseuds/cybercandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life in the Zones ain't easy. It's even more complicated if you're in love with your best friend.</p><p>Or: Mikey's being awkward. Ray isn't ready to make a move. Frank intervenes because someone has to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt

[](http://s109.beta.photobucket.com/user/Sisqi/library/)

 

"He's doing it again..." Frank said, poking Ray in the ribs with a screwdriver.

"Doing what?" Ray mumbled, head underneath the hood of the Trans AM. The engine had gotten way to hot last time they were out, so Ray had decided it was time for an investigation.

"Staring at your ass. Not that there’s anything wrong with your ass. It’s totally sexy" Frank said matter-of-factly. 

Ray straightened up and looked over to the diner just in time to see Mikey quickly avert his gaze and slink back inside.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" Ray asked exasperated. Frank shrugged. He thought that was obvious.

"Make a move? Flirt and get your hands down his pants?" he suggested.

"Getting my hands down his pants doesn't count as flirting" Ray pointed out.

"It totally does. Worked for me and Poison" Frank said, because, yeah, it had worked a treat. They'd still be sexually frustrated and circling each other if he hadn't.

"I'm not gonna stick anything down his pants" Ray sighed and leaned forward again, tapping the spanner against the radiator.

"But you should. Really, it would make all of us so much happier if you did."

"So you're suggesting I hook up with Kobra just so you and Poison can feel better about yourselves?" Ray asked. Frank could tell he was wearing him out, but he couldn't let it go. Mikey kept acting weirder and weirder in Ray's presence and if Ray didn't get his act together soon, Frank had to intervene because it was impacting on his quality of life. He had gotten used to Mikey’s involuntary kind of awkward; Mikey being awkward on purpose was unbearable.

"Yeah. No. You'd feel better. And Kobra’d feel better. You both need to get laid and you need to get laid with each other" Frank pointed out.

"Fuck, Ghoul, cut it out. I'm _not_ gonna make a move. End of. Hand me the towel" Ray demanded.

Frank threw the towel into Ray's hands and walked off. There was no use in winding Ray up, because Ray was stronger than Frank and Frank really didn't want to spend another day tied to the counter in the diner. Once had been enough.

It didn't mean he had to stop, though. Just because Ray wasn't going to do anything about Mikey pining and wanting Ray all up in his personal space and parts of his body didn't mean Frank couldn't. 

It looked like Ray would be busy doing stuff to the Trans AM for quite a while and Frank decided he might as well take matters in his own hands now. He wandered off towards the diner in search of Mikey and found him around the back in the shade, an array of ray guns in various stages of disrepair spread out around him. 

"How's it going?" Frank enquired. Mikey hummed "s' alright", a frown on his face as he concentrated on taking apart a particularly sorry looking gun so he could fix another, less broken one.

"Jet's working on the car" Frank said, rocking back and forth on the soles of his feet. Mikey paused his poking at the guts of the gun for a moment and looked up.

"And?" he asked.

"Dunno. Maybe you should go help him?" Frank suggested. Mikey had stopped working on the car with Ray about the same time he’d started being complicated. Frank couldn’t see how that was related, if Mikey wanted on Ray’s cock surely being around him would without doubt be more beneficial than playing the shrinking violet.

"'m kinda busy with the guns, here. We killed quite a few of them at the last encounter with the Dracs" Mikey explained.

"I'm sure Jet would appreciate some help" Frank plodded on. Mikey could be so fucking stubborn if he wanted to.

"Then why don't you go help him?" Mikey suggested. 

"I think he'd prefer you to do it..." Frank tried.

"Dunno, he goes really awkward around me" Mikey answered. Frank had to bite his tongue to not blurt out that when it came to being awkward, Mikey was the uncrowned king. Ray didn’t even come close. Frank took a deep breath.

"Kobra, remember when we got drunk? Well, Jet and I had a little talk and he told me he wants to ride you like a show pony..." he blurted out.

Mikey stared at Frank blankly. "He wants to fuck Show Pony? Didn't know ze was his type" he mused. Frank was clenching his fists so tight it hurt.

"Fuck, Kobra, he wants to bone your skinny ass from here to next week. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT NOTICE?!" Frank shouted, immediately looking around the corner to check if Ray had heard him, because that would be unfortunate and end in Frank getting tied to things again. Possibly gagged this time, Ray had hinted something in that direction.

"Oh... ummm... ok" Mikey managed before directing his attention back to the guts of the ray gun.

"You're not going to do anything about it?" Frank enquired. Really, how much more encouragement did Mikey need?

Mikey shook his head. "Um, dunno, I mean, if he's so interested, why hasn't he made a move?" he asked. Frank shrugged. This was getting way over his head.

"Because for some reason he's blind or just too stupid to realise that you would want him to" Frank sighed. "You do want in his pants, don't you?" he asked, just to make sure. Maybe he had it wrong after all.

Mikey nodded, a grin playing around his mouth. "Yeah. Kinda. Would be cool, I think" he mumbled. 

"O.K." Frank said and turned around. He knew Ray was going to shout at him when he found out about this conversation. Probably better if he told him. He needed a drink first, though.

Frank was perched in one of the booths inside the diner cradling a bottle of water. He’d been staring out of the window for half an hour now, hoping Gerard would return from his scouting mission before Ray got a chance to kill him, but Gerard was nowhere to be seen and Ray had just walked in.

"So..." Frank started, staying as far away from Ray and that damn counter as he could.

"So what?" Ray asked and cocked an eyebrow.

"I told him" Frank said. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to come clean to Ray. He needed Gerard to hide behind and reason with Ray in case he wanted to kill Frank.

"Told who what?" Ray queried. 

"I told Kobra that you want to ride him like a show pony" Frank said. Ray stared at him, much like Mikey had earlier. 

"Why would I want to bang Show Pony?" Ray sounded genuinely surprised and Frank felt ready to explode. 

"Funny, he asked the same thing" Frank answered.

"Yeah, because - why?" Ray asked.

"I told him that _YOU_ want to ride _HIM_... what the fuck is wrong with you people" Frank screamed, clasping both hands in front of his mouth straight afterwards. Shouting at Ray wasn't a good move. Ray could tie seriously vicious knots. For a brief moment Ray looked like he was about to strangle Frank, then he just sighed and grabbed a bottle of water. 

"And?" Ray finally asked.

"And what? He's hot for you as well. Now, if you could _PLEASE_ just go out there, grab him and do really dirty things to him? That would be absolutely awesome." Maybe Ray wasn’t the right man for the job if he needed Frank to tell him.

"Um... I'd rather wait for the right moment" Ray said, adding “today’s not it” when Frank drew in a breath.

Frank huffed, grabbed his water and headed outside. He thought he'd heard Gerard come back and he desperately needed to get away from all this fucking weirdness around him.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~

Of course Ray had noticed that Mikey was interested in him, it wasn’t that hard to miss. And it wasn’t like he didn’t like Mikey, quite the contrary, it was just... 

Ray didn’t do casual hook ups. 

He’d never been good at them and he sure as hell wasn’t risking his friendship with Mikey for a quick fuck. Maybe, if they were still in Battery City, if Better Living hadn’t taken over, if it hadn’t gotten so unbearable that they had to escape to the zones and start running, maybe, in another life, he and Mikey would have hooked up. But with the dust storms and the acid rain, the constant danger of Dracs ready to torture or ghost them, the uncertainty that came with being wanted criminals, with just the sheer effort of surviving day by day, romance kinda took a backseat. They were safe, now, the abandoned diner boarded up to shelter them from the scorching sun and the poison winds, they hadn’t seen a Drac patrol for _days_ , but that could change any second.

They’d been running for almost a year now, the novelty of finally being out of the grip of BL/I and their mind-numbing drugs had worn off months ago and normality had set in. Dodging a Drac patrol, ghosting Dracs before they ghosted them, doing their best to damage BL/I wherever they could without getting caught, surviving – that was their life and Ray wouldn’t go back even if they paid him. But life in the zones was fragile and feelings made you vulnerable.

Ray and Mikey had been good friends back in their old life and living in the zones had only brought them closer. Discovering that he’d developed feelings for Mikey had been a shock, it wasn’t meant to happen. Ray thought he had it under control, if he didn’t dwell on those feelings he could push them to the back of his mind and only let them out at night when the others were sleeping. It had been fine until they got drunk one night on a keg of beer Gerard had found underneath the floorboards in the wreck of a house they’d raided for supplies. Good alcohol was like gold dust in the zones, the home-brew sold in the bars was vile at best and poisonous at worst. Ray hadn’t realised how much his tolerance had dropped until he was slumped against Mikey, arm around his waist, head resting on his shoulder, and it had felt so good to be close to him. They’d almost, _almost_ kissed, Ray had torn himself away at the last minute and fled outside, leaving Mikey sitting on his own. They’d never talked about that night and Mikey had been acting weird around Ray ever since, alternating between obvious pining and stubborn avoidance. The Mikey Ray had known was gone, easy companionship replaced by uncomfortable silences, and Ray missed geeking about cars and radios and guns for hours on end. He missed Mikey.

Ray just couldn’t forget that night, the way Mikey had felt in his arms and how much Ray had wanted more. His right hand had been getting a pretty good workout in the past weeks and it was all kinds of fucked up that the object of his fantasies, the main protagonist, was sleeping right across the room.

He’d thought his feeling towards Mikey were down to not having had sex with anyone else but his hand since they’d left Battery City. Maybe he just needed to get laid. So the next time they’d gone out to a swap meet to trade the things they’d scavenged and couldn’t use, Ray had hooked up with a guy who’d been willing and anonymous. It had gone spectacularly wrong. The guy’s mouth didn’t even get close to Ray’s junk before he’d pushed him away, mumbling excuses and stumbling off with his pants down. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Mikey had seen them and sulked for days afterwards. It had driven Frank and Gerard up the wall and Ray had felt guilty as fuck for something he wasn’t even sure he’d done.

He was aware they couldn’t go on like this, not doing the one thing that he feared would destroy their friendship was going to destroy it regardless, not fucking Mikey was just as disastrous as fucking Mikey had potential to be. Ray was doomed either way. 

The night after Frank’s intervention Mikey stayed away from the diner, hiding in the ruins of the little office next to the building instead, and while Frank kept rolling his eyes and trying to get Ray to go check on him, Ray just couldn’t.

The next morning Gerard and Frank got in the car, claiming someone needed to take it for a spin to check if Ray had managed to fix whatever was wrong, but Ray knew all they’d do was drive far out into the desert and fuck. Ray had seen the way Gerard walked when they returned and the smug smile on Frank’s face spoke volumes. He couldn’t exactly blame them, they all slept in the same room, Gerard and Frank behind the counter and Ray and Mikey in opposite corners. Privacy was in short supply in the zones, at least they had found a building that wouldn’t collapse on their heads and they didn’t have to sleep in tents like those less lucky.

Mikey had snuck back into the diner when he thought everyone was asleep, only to disappear again before Ray woke up. There weren’t that many places he could go without a ride and with the Trans AM gone and the bike’s tank empty he was out of options. Mikey wasn’t stupid enough to walk out into the desert on foot which meant he was either in the office again or underneath the makeshift shade structure they had erected behind the diner.

Ray’s stomach growled and he sighed and grabbed a can. None of the cans in the pantry had labels, there was no need for them, really, because the only things they could afford were beans or dog food. You could mix the two if you felt adventurous and had someone to share with, but it was still only beans or dog food. Ray dragged the can opener around the edge of the can and popped the lid, exposing something that looked like ground up meat in jelly-gravy. Dog food. Ray stuck the spoon in, he had gotten used to the taste and he needed to eat. Once he was done Ray grabbed the old radio they had found at the swap meet and went outside to take it apart. If he could make it work they could trade it at the next meet or maybe even sell it for fuel money.

Half an hour later Ray heard someone in the kitchen and shortly after Mikey sauntered out, spoon in one hand, can in the other, squatting down as far away from Ray as he possibly could while staying in the shade. He ate in silence and was just about to head back inside when Ray couldn’t stand it any longer. 

“We need to talk.”

All things considered this probably wasn’t the best opening line. Conversations that started like this were never pleasant and Mikey froze like a deer in the headlight.

“Um... yeah, ok” he mumbled, kicking up dust with the tip of his boot. Ray sighed and pushed himself up, walking towards Mikey who was trying his best to blend into the wall.

“That night we got drunk... we... I... shouldn’t have walked away” Ray started and, fuck, that was more difficult than he had imagined. 

“Yeah?” Mikey replied.

“Yeah. And... I shouldn’t have... hooked up with that guy at the swap meet” Ray went on. Mikey was purposely staring at the ground. 

“I didn’t... I didn’t fuck him, y’know, I couldn’t, because... because... hewasntyou” Ray spluttered, feeling heat creep into his face.

“Really?” Mikey looked up.

“Yeah. Almost tripped over my pants trying to get away” Ray mumbled and Mikey chuckled.

“Fuck, Jet, that’s... pretty funny, actually” Mikey grinned. Ray stepped a little closer, gently pushing Mikey against the wall. They were so close that their mouths were almost touching.

“Y’know, I’d really want to...” Ray began and suddenly Mikey’s lips were on his mouth, cracked from the sun and the dry heat, but still the best thing Ray had felt for ages. And then Mikey opened his mouth just a little, just enough to let Ray’s tongue in, and they still needed to talk, but that had to wait because right now Mikey’s body was all Ray could think about. Mikey pushed closer, whimpering softly when Ray squeezed his ass, fingers wrapped in Ray’s hair. Ray pulled away a bit, sliding a hand down Mikey’s belly to cup his junk and Mikey moaned, rocking into Ray’s grip. He was hard, cock trapped in his tight jeans, rutting against Ray while his hand travelled across Ray’s chest, gently pinching his nipple before moving down to pop the top button of Ray’s jeans. Ray groaned when Mikey wrapped his fingers around his cock and started jacking him.

“Let’s go inside” Ray croaked between kisses and Mikey hummed in agreement.

They stumbled towards Ray’s room, leaving a trail of discarded clothes in their wake. Ray had no clue how they made undressing look sexy in the movies and he really couldn’t give a shit, all the cared about was getting Mikey naked as fast as humanly possible. Which was pretty damn fast. Ray was just about to push Mikey onto his mattress when Mikey put a hand on his chest.

“Wait here, be right back” he mumbled and walked over to his corner. Ray saw him rummaging around in his stuff, then walk back and drop something onto the floor before stretching out on the mattress, legs slightly spread, looking up at Ray with what only could be described as the dirtiest grin on the planet. Ray fell onto his knees between Mikey’s legs, leaning forward propped up on his elbows so he could grind against Mikey without crushing him.

“Oh my god, Kobra, want to fuck you so bad” Ray rasped, rubbing against Mikey’s stomach. He needed to be inside Mikey so much it hurt, but he also didn’t have lube and he doubted that Mikey would be able to take him on spit alone. Ray hadn’t seen anything even remotely resembling lube at any of the swap meets, people in the zones concentrated on the bare necessities when it came to smuggling things out of Battery City and lube quite obviously wasn’t on that list. He felt Mikey stretch sideways and then something was pushed into his hand. Ray scrambled up to sit on his knees, looking at the little container he was clutching. 

Vaseline. Mikey had somehow managed to get hold of vaseline.

“Thought this might come in handy sometime” Mikey smiled shyly, nudging Ray onto his back so he could climb on top to straddle his hips. Ray couldn’t bite back a moan when Mikey dipped his fingers into the oily jelly and started opening himself up, mouth open and eyes squeezed shut in concentration. Mikey’s torso and legs were milky white in stark contrast to his tanned arms and face, dirty hair hanging down like a curtain while he fingered himself. Ray dipped his fingers into the little tub and ran his hand up and down his cock.

“Fuck, Kobra, look so hot...” Ray grated out and then Mikey leaned forward a little, directing Ray’s slicked-up cock against his hole and was just about to sink down when Ray gripped his hips.

“Kobra... shit, condom. Vaseline doesn’t work with condoms...” he gasped. Mikey stopped his movement and looked at Ray.

“Do you have a condom?” he asked. Ray shook his head.

“Me neither. It’s this way or not at all. I’m pretty sure I’m clean, last time I got tested was in the city, but there were one or two guys at the raves... said they were clean, but...” Mikey said sheepishly. “I could just suck you off?” he suggested. And fuck if Ray hadn’t imagined Mikey going down on him, the way those lips would feel around his cock. But as much as he wanted his dick in Mikey’s mouth, he wanted his dick inside Mikey even more.

“It’s ok” Ray whispered and Mikey smiled.

“You sure?” he whispered and Ray nodded. And then Mikey was lining up again, Ray felt the tight ring of muscles around the head of his cock give way as Mikey guided him inside, taking him inch by inch until he was sitting on Ray’s hips. He remained still for a few moments, looking down on Ray, before starting to move up and down. Ray had been in the company of his own hands for too long for slow and gentle and once he was sure that Mikey was completely relaxed he pulled him forward, pushing his feet into the mattress for leverage and started thrusting into him hard and fast. Mikey rolled his hips in time with Ray’s more and more erratic thrusts, one of his hands wrapped around his cock, jerking faster and faster. Ray could feel him start shaking before his head fell back in a groan and hot blobs of come landed on Ray’s stomach. Mikey was clenching around Ray’s cock while he rode out his orgasm and it was enough to send Ray over the edge as well, gripping Mikey’s bony hips and pushing into him as deep as he could.

A few minutes later Mikey shifted, hissing as Ray slid out of him and flopped down next to Ray. They were covered in sweat and dust and the mix had formed a sticky, itchy mess on their skin. Apart from the sun, dust was the only thing truly abundant in the desert. It got everywhere, blowing through gaps in the windows and doors, forming a thin grey layer on everything not sealed air-tight, clogging up your lungs if you were stupid enough to get caught in a white-out without a dust mask, making you cough up mud for days afterwards. They’d long given up fighting it, there was no point, the dust always won.

“Fuck, it’s hot” Mikey panted.

“We should probably go outside, otherwise we’ll melt” Ray agreed.

They wiped themselves down as good as they could with as less water as possible. Water was precious in the zones, the cistern behind the house was filled with a deadly sludge that could corrode metal and the nearest source of clean water was a ten minute drive away where someone had tapped a pipe that fed BL/I run cities from reservoirs up in the mountains. Their water was rationed, they had just enough to drink and wash with. 

Mikey and Ray were sprawled into one of the booths in the front of the diner, Mikey nestled in Ray’s arms, when Gerard and Frank returned from their trip. Frank came bounding in, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw them.

“No. You. Didn’t. You fucking didn’t! Poison – they finally did it” he gasped, gesturing for Gerard to come inside.

“They did what?” Gerard enquired, peeking in through the window.

“They fucked. They finally fucked” Frank announced. “Am I right?” he asked when neither Ray nor Mikey said anything.

Mikey nodded and Ray could just make out the shitfaced grin that had spread over his face. Frank bounced up to Mikey and gave him a hug.

“I’m so happy for you. Thought you guys would never get it together” he smiled, squeezing into the booth to sit opposite Mikey and Ray. 

“Did he give you the talk, Kobra?” Frank asked. “He did give you the talk, didn’t he?” he asked when Mikey looked at him quizzically.

“No. Is there a talk, Jet?” Mikey asked, tilting his head so he could look at Ray.

“Wow, can’t believe he fucked you without it” Frank muttered. Ray’s face suddenly felt way too warm.

“What’s there to talk about, anyway?” Mikey enquired.

“Oh, all that shit about not being into casual sex, him being a relationship man and only fucking you because he truly loves and respects you” Frank answered and Ray would have strangled him right there if his arms were long enough.

“Thank you, Ghoul. Fuck off, Ghoul. Poison, get Ghoul out of here before I kill him” Ray shouted.

“Ghoul, come over here before Jet kills you” Gerard shouted from the kitchen.

Mikey turned around, eyes locked into Ray’s.

“Is that true?” he asked softly. Ray nodded.

“Yeah” was all he could get out. His throat felt like he’d been walking around in a dust storm with his mouth open.

“’s okay” Mikey mumbled.

“So, that’s alright with you? Not gonna freak out if I want you for myself?” Ray croaked. Fuck his throat, really. 

“Yeah” Mikey whispered. 

“Thought you’re more of a...” Ray started.

“...slut?” Mikey finished.

“Not saying that, but... yeah...”

“You’re my best friend. And my lover. There’s no one else in this world I’d rather be with. All the others can just fuck off” Mikey whispered and stretched up to kiss Ray.

And in another life, in another world, Ray would have taken Mikey for a walk along the river after dawn, treated him to food and wine at a nice restaurant and maybe a movie, before returning to a safe and warm apartment and crawl into a comfy bed with clean pillows and blankets.

Instead there was a dust storm brewing on the horizon and the blue-green-purple clouds looked a lot like there’d be acid rain later, and dinner would come out of an unlabelled can that most likely contained dog food and all they had to drink was water. If they were lucky Dr Death-Defying was on the airwaves tonight and they’d manage to tune into his frequency with the radio that Ray had cobbled together out of spare parts, and hopefully the Dracs left them alone for another day and no-one got hurt or ghosted. His bed was an old and lumpy mattress covered in dust and the blankets hadn’t been washed in months and the night was going to be freezing cold because that's what nights in the desert were like.

But he was here with his friends and he would not be cold tonight because Mikey would be in bed with him and it wasn’t perfect but it was the life he’d chosen and all he could do was

**Keep Running**


End file.
